When he said this to me it was in the context of the production of my bar. This had me thinking and brings me now, here to this moment. The last time I connected with the Joulebody Community was the first week of May. Since then I have put together all the stuff I learned and wanted to share, but for one reason or another, I was distracted. I wasn’t sure what was going on but I didn’t do anything with the information I wanted to do. Actually, I did, I hoarded the information. I kept it in my notes, my journal, my computer but I didn’t share.
Have you heard Kanye’s new song “Yikes” or maybe you heard about Kate Spade’s taking her life due to her struggle with depression and anxiety? We are so hard on ourselves and sometimes it’s so overwhelming that we have no idea what we need to do to get clear, to be happy and to find a peaceful state of mind. I was always a believer we can best help others when we ourselves have compassion for the pain, the struggle. We have to truly know what it means to love and connect to help ourselves and others.
So I didn’t share what I had because I had to take care of what was in front of me. I needed to take the time to get clarity so that I can move forward from a clear healthy space, and the past few weeks wasn’t that. Some people write their content ahead of time so that moments like I had, when you have no idea what you need to do there is content ready. Me, I work from an authentic space. I feel the need to share from truth, that means I can’t hoard a post, a Vlog or a blog so that on the days I am not feeling I have something. I am ok now. My most recent post is a reminder that every moment is a different one. The smile I have on my face is real. The peace I feel in my mind is real. There is nothing fake about who I am or what I share. I work really hard to learn about what works for me so that I can work with others and support their need to get clear on what works for them.
I had a client recently who hesitated working with me because of she clearly said
I will start when I could do it 100%
There is no 100%, it’s all just showing up. Taking the time to self-actualize. Learning how to be compassionate and to be taken out of comfort. Those are the things you have to be ready to do, but not to be able to do it 100% because as diet plans show you, doing it 100% gives you temporary results that eventually fall short of giving you lifelong success. Now when you get into the core of your habits, your triggers and you become educated on the science that helps support your goal, then you see the results.
I did the prescription medication. I wanted a quick fix to the disturbances I was having in my mind, and I got that but meanwhile, I continued to do my research and I continued to educate myself with doctors and coaches and now I am here. Now I am.
Time isn’t real.
I would be wasting your time with the information you already have or can easily get if you wanted to. I don’t have a staff of writers and researchers. What I do have is my lifelong mission to bring on brain tapping gut healing programs for success.
Hope you know that you only deserve to have the best day ever.
In 2017 I signed up for a coaching program. On the call prior to me signing up, I told her about my patterns, the behavior that triggered me to “retreat”. When I wasn’t sure what I needed to do, or if I was stuck in my old patterns, I would shut down and avoid doing what I needed to do.
I only recently connected to this behavior of retreating when I started my coaching workbook. There was a point in writing the workbook that I got stuck and when I got stuck I would shut down. Literally unable to find any creative energy flowing in my on what to do next, so I cleaned my apartment or I did laundry. Habits that are necessary right? Like I needed to do this work so it was valid.
There were other times like when I was given a lot of work to do by my business coach that I would just disappear. Like literally I would just not do the work. Maybe I would do some but not all that I said I would do. Then I began to notice this pattern. This pattern was triggered by a few things:
when I wasn’t sure what I needed to do
when I was too overwhelmed so I just did nothing
fear that if I did what I was supposed to do the outcome wouldn’t be what I expected it to be
Session #2 of my 10-week Wellness Coaching program ended up being about triggers because a trigger is what brings on the habit. And habits are meant to be broken. RIght? I mean we created the habit to be there so why can’t we just break? Well, I think you have to know that you are falling into a triggered habit then you need to want to break it. You need to trust that by changing this habit you will get an outcome better than the habit you currently have.
For instance, when I realized that I retreating because I wasn’t sure what the next chapter of my coaching program would be I forced myself to sit at my desk researching and writing. It took me 2 weeks of collecting information to see where I needed to go next in my workbook. By sitting at my desk and doing the work, I allowed the energy to flow of what needed to happen. This broke the habit of not doing the work caused by a trigger of not knowing what I needed to do.
The biology of what’s going on in our brain isn’t the pursuit of pleasure it’s the need to satisfy this itch of discomfort that drives us to action. We don’t want to want. I have found the secret to success is creating habits. If you want to lose weight, start a business, get stronger, learn a new skill, whatever it is you want to change you must create a habit to make it manifest. That means your thoughts and your actions must be aligned with what you want to achieve.
No matter what you learn about eating healthy or about exercising if you don’t learn what it is that triggered you to sit and watch TV when you know you should be going for a run. What is it that makes you eat sugary foods when you know you want to lose weight. The thing that makes these things happen is you. At some point, you have triggered your brain when you are bored to watch TV or scan through social media. You have allowed your brain to be affected by the chemistry of sugar which releases endorphins making you feel good immediately after it’s ingested. So if you are feeling bored, tired, or even extremely hungry you have taught yourself that sugar or processed foods will give you temporary relief.
Here are some trigger tracking tricks for you to learn so that you can begin creating new, healthier habits.
Take time to journal your triggers. Sit down and write down what are some of the behaviors/reactions you notice about yourself that may not be in line with the lifestyle you want? Like for instance not prepping your foods so when you are hungry you don’t know what to eat so you just eat what’s available or drink something to make you feel more energy. These are some examples of triggers that cause a habitual eating habit. You can also journal about triggers that cause you to engage in low vibrational habits like watching too much TV or scrolling through social media or sleeping too many hours.
After you have journaled, but before you decide to work on breaking the habit, track your behaviors that come after your trigger. Don’t make the changes right away, just notice how you feel how you react and what you do when this happens. I find that it’s important to go through the journey before you make any changes so that when the patterns come back you are able to say “oh right that’s not what I want to do.”
After a week or two of tracking your triggers begin to change your habits. First, you need to know your longtime goal. Is it weight loss? Is it healthier eating? Is it exercising? Is it learning something? Is it finding a peaceful state of mind? and so on. Whatever it is you should be clear on what it is you want so that you don’t find yourself changing your habits with no real reason so likely you will fall back into your old patterns.
When I started my career in wellness, I helped clients get stronger, thinner and feel better about their bodies. I then went into nutrition and yoga which took the personal training to a whole other level. I began to learn more about the biochemistry of our bodies and mind and how what we eat impacts our gut, in turn, our mind. Just like what we think impacts our biochemistry, therefore if we want to make that future of wealth, happiness, health, and a peaceful state of mind we must learn what triggers us, why we want to change then what we can do to make the change.
A few days ago I spent my day moving my insurance paperwork from my desk to my bed, to my countertop, to my bag and back to my desk. I am noticing that as I pass the papers from one place to another there is an anxiety in my head on the process that needs to happen for these documents to be complete. I am not sure what the process is, but something needs to happen. What is the outcome that I want? Truthfully, for this to disappear so that I can focus on the things I want to do.
Since last year I have been on a journey of figuring out why it is that I struggle with anxiety? Why do I forget things so easily? Why can’t I read a book that I so want to read? And why is it that as organized as I am some days, others I am totally out of control? I went to my Gynecologist, my internist, my therapist, my dermatologist and my coach to help me make sense of what didn’t seem to be making sense. It has been 6 months since I gave up drinking alcohol, 2 years since I closed Joulebody Cleanse and 2 years since my BF passed away. That’s a lot of the stuff that was keeping me in a total state of anxiety and stress, a feeling that I was familiar with. A peaceful state of mind is something I only touched upon after meditation, exercising, and sometimes at bedtime, other than that I pretty much managed my life from the place of needing not wanting.
Without my BF and my wine (or martini, depends on the night) I was able to hear what was actually going on in my mind. I was able to notice my behavior, my reactions, my emotions, my strengths and my weaknesses. It wasn’t until I had nothing to numb the “craziness” in my head that I realized how scattered I was at times and yet others I was extremely organized. I began to visit my doctors more, meditate longer and write daily. I had intimate conversations with my husband about what was going on in my head. How I struggled to get things done when I don’t know how I need to do it. I struggle writing in words that make sense to anyone other than me. And now I know why.
As I began to let go of the numbing things in my life, I began to bring in higher vibrating habits. I got back into strength training, running, it seems that is one of the things that helps me declutter my thoughts. I began to meditate consistently, not allowing any excuse to stop me from practicing and I began to watch more closely what I was eating.
My last visit to my internist led her to believe that I should be re-evaluated for ADD. I had been diagnosed with slight ADD when I was a trainer at Equinox many years ago. I took her advice because I could feel like something was just not right. A few days ago I got the results. Yup, I had ADD, actually high-level ADD but what was surprising is that she diagnosed me with ADHD. That made me really sad, confused and well, sad. I had been so hard on myself for so long on why I didn’t understand things or why I couldn’t read a book. When I was in middle school I remember walking out of the class because I felt like I was going to go insane. I went to the bathroom 100 times a day just to get out. I began high school and begged them to put me in special ed where my friends were because I felt like the work they were doing was more comprehensive than what I was learning. And now here I was with a better understanding of how my brain works.
Yesterday was the first day since my diagnosis that the scatteredness in my brain began to happen. I had a few administrative things to do that required me to focus and so I moved the papers from here to there and back again until finally, I decided to take a nap. I am so grateful I created a company that allows me to work from home at times and some freedom to take a break. I know that people like my husband gets frustrated because he feels like we have to stop coddling, but if we can why shouldn’t we?
As I go on this journey of personal growth and self-actualization I know that I am going to find out more and more about, how much I had to overcome, and how I did things that would seem challenging but I did it anyway. My mom’s reaction to my diagnosis was
Well they are quick to put a label on people now a days.
At first, I was disappointed because if she knew me like really knew me she would know that I was always hyper and easily distracted. Then I surrendered her comment. It doesn’t change me. It doesn’t belong to me. I am finally at the mercy of my own judgments not the opinions of others and it feels good.
I was sad because I had been so hard on myself. I am happy because now I just go
Oh boy. My head a little scattered today. It’s a day for whatever.
And like my husband says,
Just create a list of what needs to get done and let go of the rest.
So I did just that yesterday and today I tackled college apps, insurance forms, and work. I did some writing and meditating. I have no intention of medicating myself but I know now why people do. Becuase if they don’t have the time and space, then it’s difficult to say
Today I can’t go to work because my brain is a bit scattered.
I do have a little routine that seems to be getting me to not be caught up in the scatteredness of my brain for too long. Here it is. Of course if you decide to do any of these, talk to your doctor first. What works for me may not work for you and hopefully, you have a good doctor that understands your needs.
vit B complex
These are my go to and when all fails, like it did yesterday I surrender and take a break. I find something to do that doesn’t require much of my brain space like connecting, shopping, researching, and other things. There are always plenty of things to do that keep us in a higher vibrational frequency and allows us to continue to go into the path of personal growth.
I recommend learning about how your brain works and your gut health so that you are feeling more at peace with the way you are getting things done.
I am so happy to know that all of these years when I struggled with public speaking when in the middle of the day my heart rate would elevate and my hand would shake that I am not the only one and that there’s a name for it and there is something you can do about it.
I come from a family that is wired in a way that panic attacks, OCD, and anxiety are all part of our DNA. Most of us did suffer trauma so it’s fair to say that environmental may also be a cause but all in all, we have anxiety. Now that I have given up alcohol, I realize that my anxiety begins in the morning and sometimes follows me through the evening. Determined as I am to live a mindful lifestyle, I have been testing different methods and rituals to ease my anxiety so that it doesn’t last long and doesn’t take over my happiness.
It’s taken me over 15 years of learning about health and all that goes with wellness. I have been to workshops and retreats, taken classes and became certified, but what’s really helped me is working with clients and working on myself. There is no better way to truly understand the journey of healing than to heal oneself and watch other’s do the same, heal.
I am on this journey of getting to the core of what it means to be happy. I’ve learned that there are many directions to take on this journey, but the one that’s been the most helpful is learning more about who I am, where I came from and why am I here. Anxiety has been with me since I can remember. I used to hear my grandma speak about my hand shaking to others as if it were a disease. She used to say
you see her, she shakes like that becuase of all she’s seen.
She was right, but that was only part of it. You see anxiety comes from this feeling of needing to fight or flight, even when there’s nothing to fight or a reason to run for it. That is why it’s bizzare to me that even now, as an adult in my mid-forties with lot’s of love and support I still find myself getting anxious. Anxiety runs in my blood and will be with me however, it will not control me anymore. That is why I have really put a lot of effort in getting myself living a mindful lifestyle. Learning how to be present and let go of past moments.
Here is a list of my go-to for easing anxiety, naturally:
1. An Interesting addition
Recently I started using essential oils as part of my daily dose of health and I have found frankincense and copaiba to be extremely helpful. I add a few drops in the morning underneath my tongue and if I need a little extra support,, I add a few drops in the afternoon/evening.
Take an Epsom salt bath.Listen to a relaxing podcast or music, light a candle, read a book, journal, do some yoga, meditate. All of these are helpful to your body and mind and all of these have helped me
If your anxiety does not respond to these lifestyle interventions, I recommend having a consultation with a qualified mental health provider.
3. Don’t let your blood sugar drop!
When our blood sugar drops, we respond by secreting stress hormones, cortisol, and adrenaline, which tell our liver to make more blood sugar to keep us alive. This hormonal stress response feels identical to anxiety.
Eat more protein and healthy fats (e.g., olive oil, coconut oil, butter and ghee from pasture-raised animals).
Avoid sugar and refined carbohydrates.
Eat 3 meals and 2 snacks daily; don’t skip meals.
Take a spoonful of coconut oil upon waking, in the afternoon and right before bed; this will serve as a blood sugar safety net throughout the day.
Always have a snack handy (e.g., nuts, hard-boiled egg, dark chocolate, Epic™ jerky, Vital Choice wild salmon jerky, almond butter).
4. Detox from Caffeine
Caffeine hits our nervous system and makes us ready for a fight. Introduce a stressor, and you have an all out anxiety response. If you want to go back to drinking caffeine, but you want to go back to having that morning ritual, consider making green tea your go-to beverage, rather than a “Venti Skinny Vanilla Latte.”
Create a nighttime ritual, one that helps you to ease into the evening, keeping your sugar level balanced by eating a good amount of healthy fats and plant-based proteins. I keep a pretty strict bedtime routine because when I don’t I definitely find it hard to fall asleep. I also like to put on my comfortable PJ’s, dim the lights, and get aromatherapy going in my room.
6. Cleanse the Gut
Maybe you’ve seen the recent articles about our gut flora and our moods? The bugs in our digestive tract have a profound impact on how we feel and play an integral role in anxiety disorders.
Some medications like Antacids, antibiotics, oral contraceptives (only make changes under close supervision from your doctor).
Add as often as possible
Fermented foods: kimchi, beet kvass, miso paste, apple cider vinegar, kombucha, kefir, yogurt, cottage cheese (if you tolerate dairy),
Starchy tubers: Sweet potatoes, white potatoes, plantain, taro, yucca.
Take a probiotic
Magnesium is mother nature’s Xanax. Many of us are deficient in magnesium
Vit B Complex
Moving your body is the best anti-anxiety medicine. I have created a movement routine for my morning, mid-afternoon and evening so that I am constantly connecting with my body and mind. Doing simple things like push-ups, planks, squats, and lunges will keep your core and hips strong so that you can be healthy. I add in cardio several times a week simply because it makes my mind feel good.